By way of an apology:

My last note has been plaguing me to some extent.

While a small contingent of soldiers have been milling about outside the same subway stop, down the street from the courthouse, for the past two consecutive days as well, the comparison in numbers is like the volume of Lake Erie to Lake Bikal. And the music was replaced by a man yelling... perhaps that accounts for the drastic loss of numbers, but in any case, what struck me today, that I failed to articulate in my last note, wherein I really just wanted to share the experience of the sight, because I had no story to tell, for the very revelation that stuck me today was the total absence of conflict.

Without conflict there is no story. If there was conflict in the occasion I remain ignorant of it.

As the loudspeakers were blaring the loud but surprisingly passionless words of the speaker the listless dressed and decorated sitting and squatting military men were offering less than supportive half-hearted fist raises in scattered unison while fidgeting to light cigarettes that resembled lollipop sticks. I walked by looking a few of the older gentlemen in their bored, discontented eyes trying to figure out how to walk with a closed umbrella wondering what they thought of this ignorant foreigner, or if they were thinking of anything at all.

I decided today that I don't want to be someone you, or anyone, can look at and wonder if I'm thinking of anything at all. I always want there to be some evidence, however faint or deep, shrouded perhaps in minutia or moments of worry, cares, confusion or exhaustion, but still alight, of a burning passion, a flicker of life, so that you know I'm not just sitting there, not even listening to the message, meant for me, bored and uncaring. Not that these men were necessarily as I describe, for I didn't linger and couldn't necessarily speak to them, and so far be it from me to judge, but their demeanor was such as to inspire these musings.

I'm not claiming these thoughts resolve the former, again, there's nothing to resolve. I do however hope that these thoughts offer some greater perspective than those posted prior. If to no other end, to recognize the need to identify conflicts in our lives and work towards their resolutions so that we might tell better stories to one another.

- Foster